By Lisa Medley, MA, CMT
The act of comparing oneself - including one's body - is human.
Comparison is essentially identifying two or more items to establish similarities or differences. On a basic survival level, it can serve as a safety mechanism. What is similar is known, therefore safe; what is different is unknown, potentially not safe.
However, when it comes to the betterment of Self, the act of judgment often gets layered on top of comparison with an additional layer of judging yourself for not being fill-in-the-blank enough.
A three-layer cake gone wrong.
"Look at their _______. It is so ________. I should be ________."
Be honest. When you are comparing an aspect of who you are with someone else's "aspect," are your truly comparing (just identifying the similarities or differences) - or are you also judging them and/or yourself also?
How do you feel? Inspired or deflated? What do you sense in your body? Positive vibes or ugh?
How much does this kind of comparison weigh on you? How much is it costing your wellbeing?
Now, without judgment, notice that.
The reality is that comparing yourself *in this way* is unnecessary, creates more separation, diminishes your power, and is a learned behavior. The good news? You can lose this weight!
The HOW: take back the true act of comparison and (without judgment) just identify, notice, or acknowledge what is similar or different about you and other.
Another power tool: CURIOSITY
What is this?
Imagine going to the gym, a clothing store, an airport, or looking at a magazine cover! and just notice. What would it be like to be "fascinated" by social media posts? How would it be to simply acknowledge your body or parts of it and say "hi." Like a young child seeing something for the first time, be curious.
This is going to take some practice. Believe me. That's OK. Be kind with yourself as you unlearn the act of displaced judgment.
As an energetically sensitive being, I used to walk around with the weight of other's people's worlds, compare myself with judgments about thoughts, ideas, or energies that didn't even belong to me! Curious questions such as, "What is this?" allows me, as well as my clients, freedom to lighten up.
Your body wisdom is also here to support you. When you are comparing and feel a contraction, tightening, or some version of "ugh," you may have entered the world of judgment. When you are simply comparing similarities or practicing curiosity, notice feelings of spaciousness, openness, and perhaps even awe or wonder.
This is a practice worth practicing. You not only experience less energetic weight, you also embody a lightness of being that is yours to reclaim.